Tag Children

Frozen 2 – Movie Review

annatobey Leave a comment

frozen 2

The most important thing that I have to remember is that my girls loved this movie. I took 5 girls to see this. We of course sang “Let it Go” on the way there and then found the new soundtrack and played some of the songs on the way back. Olaf was hilarious! And the cinematography was beautiful. Again, my girls loved it. I, on the other hand, did not. The plot was predictable and I hoped that I wasn’t right. I hoped that Disney would not go there again, but they did!

I also get that this is a girl’s movie, but Kristoff was annoyingly passive. I get that girls can be courageous and girls can do everything, but the feminist innuendos were a bit irritating.  I want to elaborate more, but I fear I may spoil the movie. But let me know if you think the same thing when you see the movie. I also had trouble wrapping my head around the storyline. It all felt so mashed together and nothing made sense for a long time. But I shouldn’t expect too much from a sequel since sequels are notoriously nauseating.

Bottom line, your girls will love the movie. The songs are catchy, although I disagreed with some of the words in it. But details, details. Olaf and Sven are hilarious, especially Olaf. There is a part that cracked me up so much when he was dealing with his fear. Also, there is a horse scene with Elsa that is just magical.  Take your girls! Even if you have to roll your eyes just a bit.

FROZEN 2

Open Borders and No Walls – for Christians

annatobey Leave a comment

 

I lived in Texas most of my life, then my family and I moved to a small town (population 660) in Western Kentucky. I am going to be brutally honest with you for moment: until I married a white man, most of my friends were Latinos. I didn’t mean for that to be, I just hung around them more. I talked to white people here and there, but my closest friends were not white. I could go on and on about how we tend to migrate (no pun intended) towards people who look like us, but I will save that for another blog. What I want to talk about today is illegal immigration. I know that these words can stir up so much emotion on all sides, but I come hoping just to clarify my thoughts and where I stand on this issue.

My mother was born in a tiny town called El Potrero (near Monterrey), Nuevo Leon Mexico. My dad was born in Houston, Texas. My mother lived in Mexico until she married my dad. Due to her marriage to my father – a U.S. citizen, she obtained a permanent resident status i.e. the famed green card. They began their life in  Houston. Years later, my dad decided to join the U.S. Border Patrol and that moved us to El Paso and then Harlingen, Texas. Most of my life, I have lived in border towns. Seeing illegal immigrants where I worked, at my church, in my  home was something normal. I even knew a lady who would visit her family in Mexico every Christmas and would come in illegally every year!. I was friends with any and all who wanted to be my friend. As Mexican-Americans (literally), we hung around others like us, some just happened to be here illegally.

Now that I live in a tiny town in Kentucky our home is still open to all. We have had doctors and meth-heads who have come into my home. We have allowed single mothers to live with us as well as taken in foster kids. We have adopted 4 children of different ages and ethnic backgrounds. Every month at least 80 people come into my home to share a meal, a story, or just to chat for a while. People are always staying the night and on weekends half the time I don’t know whose kid is at my house. We have had people representing 8 different nationalities eat with us, stay with us and love on us throughout our 8 years of living in this area. I love feeding anyone who is hungry or not so hungry and I truly strive to open up not just my home but also my life to anyone from any walk of life. I do this because I am a Christian and God being so rich in mercy took me, a Gentile woman, and gave me an inheritance along with His Son. He adopted me into His family and I – a stranger, an alien, a non-Jew – am now a part of His eternal family. I am telling you all this because what I am about to say isn’t coming from a life lived in seclusion or from the safety of my home. I truly try to live out my faith to love on the neighbor God has placed in my life.

people

When I as a Christian love on my neighbor, it is out of obedience to what He calls me to do, but as a nation I also believe that we must uphold our laws. Personally, I do not ask for IDs for someone coming into my home. If you have a warrant for your arrest, are illegally here or if you have unpaid taxes that doesn’t change my hospitality towards you. But, as a country, there are consequences to breaking our laws that thankfully are not mine to uphold. If judges turned the other cheek when passing sentence, our society would turn into chaos. If our army loved the enemy as Christians do, frankly I would probably be writing this blog in Russian or Chinese. If we allowed all to come into our country without a vetting process, our economy and society would not be able to sustain itself. We are in this world as Christians to love, but that is not the job of our government. Our government isn’t based on grace, but on laws, and to say that the government should behave as a Christian is very dangerous. And to feel guilty because our nation isn’t acting as a Christian would act independently isn’t right. I once saw a show where the radio host purposefully looked at churches who were sanctimoniously on their websites  condemning law makers and the government for being cruel for not having open borders. He then called these churches and pretended to be a social worker who needed to place some illegal immigrant children and families in temporary homes. NOT ONE OF THESE CHURCHES took any of them in. NOT ONE had a protocol in place to assist these immigrants. NOT ONE said they wanted more information. NOT ONE! The hypocrisy was vomit inducing. And that is why I can tell you, if you want to guilt trip this nation to open up its borders, you first. Open up your home without vetting, stop locking your door at night, take in and provide for foster kids or the homeless addict down the road, allow single moms to live rent free, allow a group of immigrant men to live anywhere in your home without questions asked. If you wont do it in your home for obvious reasons, what do you think will happen when those numbers are multiplied in the millions?

God established governing powers because we need structure and the law. We need speed limits and a police force. We need a judicial system that puts dangerous people in prison. We need punishments and sentences. And yes, I will say it, we need immigration policy and laws. Let us not forget that we live in a very evil world. People are murderers, rapists, slanderers and just plain cruel. There are people who rob and steal and cause misery and pain. This world is broken and dark, and as Christians we know it because the light brushes with darkness all the time. And if the law begins to violate our conscience (for example for me legalizing abortion), we are blessed that we can vote a certain way and voice are opinions. We can volunteer, advocate and do something about our concerns. Don’t just complain about an issue, do something about it. That is another great thing about this country: I can place my concerns or any apparent inhumanity into action. The problem arises when you try to force others to live a certain way, when you yourself do not live out that life.

Individually, yes the Christian life is risky and can be dangerous. It always is when we leave our comfort and try to be a light in this world. Yes, I have had things stolen, walls and doors busted up, and ungrateful recipients of our love. We have been slandered and used, but we can do all these things because we have the freedom of living in a safe nation with laws. We have freedom to love our God and our neighbor because we are safe to do so. We have resources to give because we have an economic system that allows us to make money to pay for those things.

Are there people fleeing awful places,  yes. And as a Christian if someone like them shows up near me, I will be the first to put my money where my mouth is and take them in and love on them the best I can. I already have and will continue to do so. But, as a nation, we cannot save everyone and we must have laws in order for us to protect our way of life. Are there people fleeing the law, yes. And as a Christian I will love on them the best I can. I already have and will continue to do so, no questions asked. But as a country this person has a reckoning with a judge and will have to face his/her consequences eventually.

As Christians, our lives should be lived with open borders allowing all who want to come to Christ to come, forgiving all from all because we have been forgiven so much, but we would struggle to live this kind of life if our nation did the same thing.

adoption

Dear Christian, I do not feel guilty and neither should you for not wanting open borders or for wanting a wall. Things like this are necessary. When Paul was in trouble he used the law to protect himself (Acts 22:22-29), and it was the law that kept him from being crucified and only beheaded. In this world, we need the law. And laws placed for our safety is a good thing. It provides us with freedom other people from other countries are willing to risk their lives to experience. Why else would Hong Kong protesters wave American flags or so many travel thousand of miles to get here?

I want to end this with an exhortation. Christian, love your neighbor, open your home, take a risk to further His Kingdom, give of your time and money, live in forgiveness and grace. Leave the law and the safety to the world. They need it more.

adoption 2

Instant Family – Movie Review

annatobey Leave a comment

I did not want to see this movie. When the link was sent to me by another foster mom, I immediately told her I was not going to go. I don’t like going into situations knowing my heart strings are going to be pulled. I don’t do lifetime or hallmark Christmas movies. It’s just not my cup of tea. I realize that this is a foster care movie, I realize it would make me laugh, but it was just too close to comfort. I didn’t want to do this! And they couldn’t make me. So a group of foster moms and I went on opening day.  I hate/love my friends for making me do things I don’t want to do!

The movie was very real. It did make me cry, but they didn’t leave you there for as long as other movies in this genre like to do sometimes. I also appreciated that they didn’t sugar coat the life of foster parents or kids. It was obvious that the writers of this movie did their homework and interviewed many social workers, foster kids and parents. So many aspects of our fears, of our secret thoughts, and of our joys were covered by this movie and I was grateful for it.

Would I take my foster kids to see this movie? I cannot paint with a broad paint brush with this question.  I would recommend it only for the older foster kids who feel safe with their foster parents and only if your kid is capable to deal with strong themes like seeing a drug addicted mother repeatedly abandon her kids. For example, I think my 13 year old foster son would be okay watching this movie.  On the other hand, my 12 year old foster daughter who struggles with missing her mom and abandonment would not be okay watching this movie until she is much older. She still has a lot of healing to do before she sees her nightmare played out on the screen. But for my older one, this movie will provide so many awesome opportunities to have deep conversations with him. We can talk about what he related to the most or what he thought wasn’t right. He could also see (hopefully) just how difficult it is to be a foster parent and some of our fears and concerns. I do recommend you watch the movie first on your own and then assess if your foster kids would be okay with it.

I do recommend this movie to all who have thought for more than half a second about fostering or adopting out of foster care. I also recommend this movie to anyone who likes family drama genres.

The movie does contain adult themes that are not strangers to foster parents like comfort masturbating, sexting, cuss words, manipulation, drugs, sexual abuse, running away etc. There is also several times that God’s name is used in vain. There is also a gay couple who fosters a little boy. Generally the mood is light about all these things and I really enjoyed the political incorrectness. This just added more to the general authentic feel of the movie and frankly its comedic value. There was no nudity or sex scenes.

Just be aware, this is not a “Christian” movie. There is a Christian couple that is made fun of, but everyone is made fun of – even the gay couple! The movie is all around very secular. There is a scene at the very end where the main actors answer the question “why they chose to foster” to their teenage foster daughter and although their answer is very sweet, it is also very humanist and came short for me. This is why as Christians, we have such an advantage in foster care to live out the Gospel with these children. Our answer to this question runs red deep in meaning and purpose! I wrote more about this in this blog.

When we enter into the world, the world in all its non-glory exposes itself to us. We cannot shudder away from this with tight lips and eyes closed. The world was us and there are still many not yet part of our fold who are in it. Let’s go get them.

family

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love. We love because He first loved us.
– I John 4:18-19

I took back my children’s medals . . . *cringe*

annatobey Leave a comment

This year, 3 of my 6 kids started the running club and two of them (the two girls) whined and complained so much that they quit with 2 meets left. I will confess it was just easier for me to just let them quit. I hate it that I allowed them to quit and that I should have forced them to just finish, but alas, I gave in to their squeals of despair and side cramps.

A couple of weeks ago, I got an email that our school would be recognizing the kids of running club at the annual rally. I told our family that we would all go and support our little runner. We all (including the girls) agreed to cheer him on. When it came to honor our little runner, the two girls come running towards me saying that they too will be honored and given a medal just like their brother. They beamed as they accepted their medal along with their brother. The award had lost its luster to him.

Don’t worry – I realize I should have never let them get the medal in the first place, but I had no clue they were going to call out their names in front of a gym-full of people, and I wasn’t going to make them sit this out. My heart was not to embarrass them publicly, but to teach them privately.

After the rally, we had to have a very serious talk with the girls. My husband and I waited until we could tell them privately that they did not deserve those medals and that we would have to give them back to the coach. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. We told them that while their brother was running and sweating during practice, they were at home playing. While their brother’s heart was pounding at the meets, they were at home sleeping. Their brother had finished the race, they had not. They had quit, and quitters do not get medals.

All three of them take karate and all three have received their orange belt. They had to take a test and show up to practice for over 6 months to have earned that belt. I told them, “How would you feel if your oldest brother –  who doesn’t do karate – how would you feel if I bought him an orange belt and he wore it around the house and told others he was an orange belt? Would you like that?” Both the girls gasped and said “no”.

As we asked for their medals, one cried because she really wanted the medal, but after this story settled a bit, she said she understood. The other – the more competitive one – understood immediately.

Medals mean nothing if the quitters get one too. Trophies mean nothing if all who participate get one. I saw this with my two older boys who are great athletes. The trophies that were given to all – even the ones who showed up to one practice and two games, are in the trash. The ones that were earned are on display for all to see and even polished.

As parents, these are hard lessons to teach our children. We need to teach them to lose gracefully and learn from that loss. We need to teach them to get up and going even when they feel down. We need to encourage good sportsmanship especially when they’re defeated. And we also need to understand that our children are uniquely made with different talents – not everyone gets a trophy and that’s okay. My two girls learned that you don’t get a medal when you abandoned the team, and their brother appreciated his medal and hard work even more.

In the Bible these qualities are exalted in believers. We are to run to finish the race set before us (Heb. 12:1-2). We are to persevere. (2 Thess. 1:4-5; Romans 5:3-4) We are to work out our salvation (Phil. 2:12). We know that he who endures trials to the end will be blessed (James 1:2-4, 12).

To those who are appalled at my words and think I am going to ruin my children’s self esteem, here is a video that plainly describes what I think about self-esteem.

I leave you with the words of Jesus found in Matthew 24:13:

But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

 

A Comforting Force

annatobey Leave a comment

Twitter, short quips of what people are thinking. If you are not careful who you follow, it can be a cesspool of some of the vilest utterances imaginable. If anything is happening or if I want to somewhat know what is going on, I look at my twitter feed and rest assured, there are dozens of people already talking about any event I am interested in.

Rolling Stone yesterday sent out a twitter about “Professional Cuddling” and how grown adults have to resort to hiring out a professional cuddler to cope with their difficult lives. If you would like to check out the tweet click here.

There are several problems that came to mind when I read this tweet and I will try to explain what they are:

Suffering is belittled. Jesus said we would have many troubles in this world. (John 16:33) Remember he said this as His people were occupied by the Romans. They were a conquered people and succumbed to all kinds of suffering. After the ascension of Jesus, the Christians faced some of the most physical sufferings imaginable. Having to hire out a cuddler because President Trump is crass and a bully downgrades the true trials and sufferings of other people. Also, as Christians our sufferings are different. We may be suffering because we are hated (John 15:18), grieving over sin (2 Corinthians 7:10), being disciplined by God (Hebrews 12:7-8), or just feeling the pangs of this world but we do all these things with hope.(I Thess. 4:13) We freely cling to God and His truths, not paid strangers.

This brings me to the sadness I felt reading this tweet. Regardless of how dainty I think the reason for their suffering is, these young adults are still feeling it. And it saddens me that they have to pay someone to listen and hug them. They are paying for physical displays of affection. Where are their mothers, their fathers, their friends, their church?

As Christians we should be the masters of comforting those who are suffering, regardless of how petty we believe the cause is. (I can’t even count how many times I held teenage girls as they sobbed because they couldn’t get the prom dress they wanted, they didn’t make the cheerleading squad, their friend is moving to varsity and she’s still in JV, the boy they like likes another girl, their cell phone was taken away, the list is endless!) What better time and place to hug, console, comfort and once they feel “safe” help them see a different Godly perspective? 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. This is why we are master comforters because we have been comforted by the only True Comforter.

This made me reflect on how I treat my fellow saint. Paul several times mentions greeting each other with a holy kiss (Romans 16:16, 2 Corinthians 13:12). In Acts 20:37 we see a beautiful display of affection where they weep, kiss and hug each other as brothers in Christ as they say goodbye to Paul.  Many times God describes his comfort to us as being under his wings, close to His heart, embraced by Him. (Psalm 91:4, Psalm 17:8, Psalm 36:7)

Also, let us love on the children in our church. There is an interesting paradox in our society. We commit constant idolatry when it comes to their wants, but we also hate them. In one hand we spend thousands a year getting them the stuff they don’t need, and on the other hand we are outright hateful when we are inconvenienced at restaurants, airplanes, movie theaters etc. by fussy children. (Matthew 19:13) We throw elaborate gender reveal parties, but are silent at the slaughter of babies in the womb. Saying this, we need to love the children of our church. We should encourage them, ask them questions about their day, hug them, play with them, and love on them . Let the church be a place where they know they are loved, not put up with. Let it not only be the nursery workers that interact with the next generation of American Christians.

My dear Christian, let us be comforters. Let us be nice and lovable. Let us truly mourn with and miss our brothers and rejoice when we see each other. If you do not feel that way about your church, let me encourage you to pick out one member of your church and make them miss you when you are not around and rejoice when they see you. Invite just one person to your home and listen to them. Seek out the elderly in your church and ask them about their day, ask them if anything is hurting them, I promise most have something to say. 😉 Buy some gum and hand them out to the kids. Baking for anyone for any reason is always a good idea. Always! Write a short note to your Pastor and let him know you are praying for him. Be sweet dear Christian.  Be a comforting force, just as our God is!

May John 13:35 ring true of us that “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another”

There are spoilers in this post.

I received the Chronicles of Narnia series for Christmas but before I started reading, I looked up on where to start the series because book #1 according to the book set I received was “The Magician’s Nephew”. This book was published in 1955 while the “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” was published in 1950 and it was #2 in the box set. After doing some research, I agreed with one commentator who said to read the series in the order they were published, not in Narnia chronological order. This made sense to me. For more information on where to start in the series, I found this site very helpful.

So my daughter and I, depending if we get ready for bed on time, read about a chapter a night. And we both loved it. She saw the movie before hand though, but that didn’t seem to deter her in wanting to read the book. She actually asked why they didn’t follow the book in the movie if that is what was written. I told her that I didn’t think the movie did that bad of a job compared to others in straying from the book, but either way I was excited that she was able to see the differences and preferred the story told in the book.

The book is for children, but I enjoyed it also. As an older Christian the death of Aslan and the “great exchange” made for the life of the traitorous Edmund reminded me of the exchange of Jesus’ righteousness for my traitorous life. There is a depth to this book that unfortunately my daughter missed, only because of her age and she yet has felt the pangs of her sin. But to me that is okay. She loves Aslan, and was happy when he didn’t stay dead. But I had to fight back the urge to emphasize that Aslan is likw Jesus in this book. Although I believe that is the intention of Mr. Lewis, I also believe there is a delicate balance between spiritual symbolisms in fiction that we must take into account.  Saying Aslan is like Jesus is very different to saying the lamb in the book of Revelation is Jesus. C.S. Lewis was not inspired by the Holy Spirit the same way John was in Revelation or any writer of the Scriptures. And I didn’t want my daughter to confuse that. As for now, she is just enjoying a really adventurous story, if she draws the parallel later on, good for her.

Colorful fiction has a way of pointing out truths differently than black and white non-fiction and because fiction has a tendency to stir feelings and emotions we must be careful that those feelings and emotions are based on truths. Remember the heart is deceitful. So while I will not get my theology from a C.S. Lewis children’s book, I will enjoy the emotions caused by the death and resurrection of Aslan on a different level than my daughter because of the truth I know, and pray she will know soon also.

Recommendations: I recommend this book to older children. The witch is mean though and beats on Edmund and turns cute, furry animals into stone. To any one who enjoys books on magical lands and children’s adventures. This is definitely a great book to read out loud to your family.

To the Christian: I really enjoyed this book, but I really didn’t like that Mr. Lewis used mythological creatures as characters in his book. I found it took away from the “Christian” feel of the story.

 

The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe – Book Review

annatobey Leave a comment